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“Marriage is Hard”… or Have We All Gone Soft?
Nick’s had a few long weeks, and he’s sporting a once-a-year type of headache. The only pain Nick has truly complained about in the fifteen years I’ve known him is his braces (which I gave him major shit for), so…
But I’ve Never Even Tasted Malört…
Nick and I really really really don’t want any more babies. Actually I don’t want any more babies. Ask Nick and he will say, “The sky’s the limit!” And, “Hey, somebody’s gotta pay my Social Security”. He’s a two-trick pony…
I’m Goin’ to Coronado in My Mind
We just got home from our summer pilgrimage to Coronado. I love the first morning walk to the beach every year. I can never shake the feeling that we were JUST HERE… even though it’s been 12 months. I notice…
The Self-Esteem of a Confidence Queen
Over the next month, every single room in my house needs to be emptied, painted and/or carpeted, and then reloaded. Between replacing all of the original carpets and painting every common room, there are only about 500 square feet of…
I’ll Take “Hobbies” for 500, Alex.
A few years back at a mom’s night out, I stood by and listened as the group caught each other up on The Crown. Or some show like that – I’m not really sure what it was. I only turn…
All I Want for Christmas is Bleach
My favorite part of Halloween is when the kids are dumping out their candy after a successful night of trick or treating, and I get to put Mariah Carey on full blast over the sound system. Christmas cheer starts the…
The Social Media Sweep
A few months back I received one of my favorite compliments ever when a friend asked, “I don’t want to be too forward, but I’m so curious. I love your blog. How much do you make writing for it?” Compliment…
Why You Gotta Be So Rude?
Any friends who have been victimized by my foot-in-mouth disease know that my sarcasm frequently topples over into asshole-ism. Just last week I was dissing barrel leg jeans to my girlfriends. These jeans make our butts look flat and legs…
Aging Gratefully
Last week as I stood in front of the mirror in a crop top and brand new jeans, my seamstress kneeled down next to Maisy and ecstatically squealed “Baby girl, you have such a sexy grandma!” What a weird thing…
Did Jesus Have a Timeout Chair, Too?
How often have I rocked babies to sleep at 1 AM… 3 AM… 4 AM… and found comfort in wondering, “did Jesus wake up Mary all night long, too? Did she also hum delirious lullabies and pray longingly for sleep?”…