I’ll Take “Hobbies” for 500, Alex.

A few years back at a mom’s night out, I stood by and listened as the group caught each other up on The Crown. Or some show like that – I’m not really sure what it was. I only turn on the TV if it’s for Wild Kratts or Disney Princesses. When it was my turn to contribute, I shrugged that I couldn’t add anything because I’d never seen the show before. One friend gasped and said, “You don’t watch TV?! Wow! Impressive. You must read SO MUCH.” 

Stuttering, “Eh, nooo. I don’t do that either.”

“No TV and you don’t read? What do you do?!” 

Fair question! That wasn’t the first time I’ve blanked when someone asked what my hobbies were. Years ago I’d have answered that I coached high school lacrosse, or skied three times a week, or ran five miles a day, or maybe I would have told you about a new process improvement system I was designing at work. But lately, I’m short on answers. 

I filed that midlife crisis away under “issues to deal with later” and largely forgot about it until this week, when the exact same conversation repeated itself with a different friend. 

Now it’s been tying up my mind the last few days. What DO I do with my time? I thought about it every night this week while I took my indulgent thirty-minute hot shower. I mulled on it while doing my obscenely high maintenance morning skincare routine (six to seven steps, and that’s before makeup even goes on). It was on my mind while I did my daily blowout, and during my nighttime stretching and abs routine.  And an hour and a half later, ladies and gentlemen, we have an answer. Can I classify excessive personal upkeep as a “hobby”?

Probably not. My theory is this: I’ve spent eight years in the “overwhelmed with babies” stage of life… I’ve learned to make time for what gives me joy or peace, and I’ve unabashedly tabled the rest.

Call me a heathen, but I just don’t really like reading books. It’s so… sedentary. But guess what? 

I get a weird spike of joy when I organize our closets.

I really like how rewarding it is to bleach the grout in the shower. 

I find immense fun in planning homeschool-esque theme-days for the kids. (Everybody’s favorite Olympic game is snack pong. It’s just like beer pong but, you know, with Lucky Charms and fruit snacks). 

I love going for an evening run when it’s dim and cool and the rain has just started falling. 

I love staying up late and writing when the house is dark and silent. 

I love cooking a dinner entirely from scratch. 

I love all of my lists and my daily routine of actions that create a peaceful house. 

I love that when Nick comes home from work, we’re not scrambling with an afternoon to do list.

I love that we’ve created a space where we can all share a long dinner around the table together and still have time leftover for an impromptu Disney Techno Dance Rave. 

I have realized that I am completely, happily, delightedly content that I haven’t finished a book without pictures in seven years. I haven’t been to a workout class in a decade and I can’t even name one movie that came out this year. I’m blissfully focused on life inside my walls and I’m forever grateful that I’ve gotten to live so wholly and love so deeply this unique stage of life. 

Maisy is [God willing fingers crossed knock on wood] our last, and I’m starting to see that life after the baby stage is coming more quickly than I’d like. I’m a planner, and it’s daunting that I don’t know exactly what it will feel like when the kids don’t need me every time I breathe. I’m 18 months from Maisy starting preschool, and I’m going to need some new life purposes in the pipeline ASAP. I was lamenting my upcoming dilemma to Nick, and he laughed it off with, “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find something to do.” Oh yeah? What gives you that confidence, Nick? Is it the stack of Learn-to-Code textbooks sitting on the shelf that I keep eyeing? The fourteen half-started home improvement projects on my bulletin board? Or the fact that I still check my LinkedIn to respond to recruiters, just for kicks and giggles? 

I guess all this is to say: it’s probably best to not waste your time asking me what I’ve read or watched. I don’t have an answer now and I probably won’t for the foreseeable future. But if you’d like to have a coffee and let me go hog wild value stream mapping your kitchen… well then I’m about to have a lot of Tuesday and Thursday mornings open in about a year.