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I’ll Take “Hobbies” for 500, Alex.
A few years back at a mom’s night out, I stood by and listened as the group caught each other up on The Crown. Or some show like that – I’m not really sure what it was. I only turn…
All I Want for Christmas is Bleach
My favorite part of Halloween is when the kids are dumping out their candy after a successful night of trick or treating, and I get to put Mariah Carey on full blast over the sound system. Christmas cheer starts the…
The Social Media Sweep
A few months back I received one of my favorite compliments ever when a friend asked, “I don’t want to be too forward, but I’m so curious. I love your blog. How much do you make writing for it?” Compliment…
Why You Gotta Be So Rude?
Any friends who have been victimized by my foot-in-mouth disease know that my sarcasm frequently topples over into asshole-ism. Just last week I was dissing barrel leg jeans to my girlfriends. These jeans make our butts look flat and legs…
Aging Gratefully
Last week as I stood in front of the mirror in a crop top and brand new jeans, my seamstress kneeled down next to Maisy and ecstatically squealed “Baby girl, you have such a sexy grandma!” What a weird thing…
Did Jesus Have a Timeout Chair, Too?
How often have I rocked babies to sleep at 1 AM… 3 AM… 4 AM… and found comfort in wondering, “did Jesus wake up Mary all night long, too? Did she also hum delirious lullabies and pray longingly for sleep?”…
When Nick’s Away the Ghosts Will Play
I don’t believe in ghosts. This is 50% a faith thing – I think we are incapable of comprehending God’s forgiveness. He wants nothing more than to pull all of us into Heaven. And I think that when you finally…
Saint Monica, 2.0
Nick and I never fight. I could lie and tell you it’s because we’re totally in sync on every decision. But really, it’s because I’m married to the next patron saint of patience. And I think that over time his…
Two Tooths and a Lie
Christmas season is finally here (it starts the very moment Trick-or-Treating ends), which means my kids are all starting to get concerned about how Santa will bring them presents if we don’t have a chimney. He has a universal key…
Slapping the Bag, in Public.
Kids change us in so many ways. I used to be fun. I used to exercise daily and eat healthy. I was always on time. Ha. Just kidding. Cosmic brownies are life. And if I ever show up on time,…